Whether it’s just that I’m finally embracing my Latina side J or just that I’m a
little out of control, I’ve been riding an emotion and mental roller coaster
ride for the last few months. I’ve never been one to have extreme highs or
lows, always being that steady, neutral person. I now fully understand what my
friends and loved ones have gone through and I’m not entirely sure how I feel
about it.
The hurt, anger and frustration I’ve felt recently, for a
period of time, overshadowed the excitement, fun and elation, but I’m learning
from it. I’m growing into an emotionally responsible adult who is starting to
understand what it is that I want, need, and most of all, deserve. Instead of
letting these experiences bring me down and hold me there, I’m coming out of it
with the realization that I am an exceptional and extraordinary woman and if
you cannot see that and appreciate that, then you aren’t good enough for me. I don’t
mean that in a bad way, it’s just the way it is.
I’m learning to have the “hard” conversations first, before
I get in too deep, and I demand honest conversation. What are we to each other if
we cannot open ourselves to those closest in our lives, to those we are
intimate with, to those whose lives are intertwined with ours (if even for a
short period of time)? Each experience is a learning one, so open your heart,
mind and your mouth. ;) I know it won't be the last time I'm hurt, but I'm getting comfortable with that truth.
There is so much crap on social media, but when “19 Things
You Need to Know Before You Date A Sarcastic Girl” (http://thoughtcatalog.com/crissy-milazzo/2014/10/19-things-you-need-to-know-before-you-date-a-sarcastic-girl/)
came across my feed, I thought, “Yep, this is me.” And, let’s be honest, you don’t
have to be dating a sarcastic girl for this little tidbit to be useful. It’s
true in any situation. Every single one of these statements are true and it’s
important that you pay special attention to the ones about emotions and shit. I’ve
been called many things in my life (bitch, frigid, cold, selfish, etc) and some
of them are true some of times, but the thing is if you truly felt that way
about me, then you didn’t really know me. And that’s okay, because I know that
those are temporary states of being for me.
It hasn’t been all bad, though. Work has been going pretty
well and I’m currently on vacation for the next two and a half weeks. I’ve
completed my first year as a board member for an ERP user group (with an
amazing group of fellow board members) and I’m excited about the opportunity to
sit on it for another year.
And there is the cherry on top. I’m going into my second
season with the BCB (and my lovely Crazy 8’s) and cannot wait! I’m setting
goals for myself and I plan on blowing them out of the water. And then there’s
Interleague (IL). I tried out for the All Stars (AS) and was given a red shirt
position. (A red shirt gets to practice with the AS, thereby increasing their
own skill so that when the time comes, they can be considered for a roster
position). I feel my derby skills being stretched and growing all the time and
this just means I’m going to get better.
And my lovely Battlestars (BS)! Last season I played on the
team and grew so much I knew that I had to keep with it. I’ve always had the
goal of being on the AS because I want to compete for rankings, but I’m
realistic about my current skill level, so I knew that my time with the BS was
not up. I ran for co-captain and was lucky enough to be voted in (along with
another lovely lady that is fantastic to work with)! I’m excited about what we’re
doing with this year’s group of girls and I can’t wait to skate our first bout
together. And get to wear the C on my shoulder, to feel the pride of not only
being a part of this fantastic team, but to also say, “Hey, I might have
contributed a little bit to this team, to these girls, to the support of our
league, to my fellow co-captain and coach” and so much more than that. I’m
looking forward to Taco Mondays, No Fun Thursdays, Shenanigans and general tom
foolery.
I hope to get back to writing this little word vomit more
often, since I realize if you made it this far you might just be sick of
reading. Stay tuned and if you want to make sure you don’t miss future insights
to my telenovela, make sure to subscribe my email.
PS – Because I know those of you who read the last post were hoping for more juice, hitting your sexual prime without a steady partner
sucks! I feel a little like Oliver.... "Please, sir, may I have another?"
