I've somehow managed to let an entire year go by without blogging. I have to admit, this bothers me a little. I started this blog to talk about my experiences in derby, life, work and (in general) to just help get the crap out of my head.
I realized today that it's also been about year since someone I cared for hurt me in ways I could never have imagined possible. I experienced an emotional and mental break that I'd never imagined possible. And I wonder if my lack of desire to talk about my life has to do with the fact that I began questioning my worth. I've obviously realized since that moment that the problem wasn't me. That the experience that I had gone through had more to do with the deficiencies of that person that anything to do with me, but the toll it took on me to understand that, believe that, to move past that, drained me to an extent that I'd never thought imaginable.
Today, I am happy, (relatively) healthy, communicative, thoughtful, open, caring.... the list goes on. Of course, I was all those things before, but I'm more aware of who I am, what I want, what I "bring to the table".
Next week I'm headed to Reno to speak at a conference, where I'm a member of the advisory board, where I get to help people improve their own experience \ knowledge in an area that I enjoy and excel. I know some days I complain about my job, but overall the trajectory of my career is exactly where I hoped it would be some day. I've been on foreign soil simply for my job. How many people can say that? I sat in a meeting with the owners of my company and spoke as plainly as I would with anyone else in the company and I wasn't fired. I call that a win. :)
I hope that now that I've made the first step towards blogging again that I can maintain it. And that you'll join me in my experiences. In the month to come I will rejoin my home team (The Crazy 8's) for season 10 of our league (woot!), speak at a conference, expand my involvement on the BoD of Brewcity Bruisers, continue my role on the NAVUG advisory board, and maybe even start exploring the world of dating again (admit it, you're definitely interested in this, but I can't promise I'll post any of it).
-It's a new dawn, it's a new day. It's a new life for me. And I'm feeling good.
